I have no freakin' idea.

I had a dream last night that was really weird. I don’t remember all of it but this stuck with me because it was disturbing. Something or other was going on and there was a mirror in front of me. I was having a conversation with my wife and noticed I had a bite/zit thing on my face, off center about an inch, between my eyebrows. Upon further examination was one of those honker zits that are the size of a quarter. I poked at it and it popped. Grosse I know but, here comes the weird part. Left in its place was a hole in my flesh that went down to my skull but lacking a large amount of blood. At first I was freaked out because I was staring at exposed section of my skull. I yelled to the Wife and when I looked back noticed there was a divot on my skull like someone had started to drill it. I turned and yelled to my Wife to come and help me and when I looked again there was an eyeball where the hole had been. I watched it slowly adjust itself into place and then blink and look around as if it was supposed to be there all along. I didn’t notice any improvement of my overall vision but I could feel what was taking place as I watched it happen in the mirror.
Now I’m just confused and wondering why the hell it is there and why it is off center. I looked like a tryclops with fetal alcohol syndrome.

/bracing for "vast improvement" jokes

Shameful

The Wife actually used the phrase “Bomb Diggity” four times this weekend. I think I’m going to ship her back to Russia. She is going to ruin my cred.

Valentines

Thanks to everyone in the office for bringing an assload of candy yesterday. I found there's nothing better than discovering that a piece of chocolate fell in between your legs without your knowledge. Melting onto your blue office chair so when you come back from lunch it looks like you sharded at your desk.