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I usually consume 3-4 cups within 3 hours of waking before I leave for work but I was out of creamer. I usually use sugar free vanilla flavored soy milk which is quite good. Not too sweet and cuts the acidity quite well. With no milk or powered creamer to be found I was desperate. I decided to stop at Starbuck’s and further justified the expense because I was going in on my usual day off.

As I pull in there is a guy with the back of his Expedition open and he is pointing at his rather large dog. He is shaking his finger at the dog and is alternating between pointing at the dog and the interior trunk/hatch release. Which in this particular model is a loop of fabric. I guess the dog had figured out that if he yanked on the loop freedom was a short leap away.

Then I went inside and the place was empty except for an older couple. They obviously had money but poor taste. The lady had expansive sunglasses from Dolce & Gabbana, big gold and diamond-like earrings that complemented her deeply tanned leathery skin nicely. She was sporting a bright red belt with huge gaudy gem encrusted buckle that looked like she had made a failed attempt at seppuku with a bedazzler.

I got in line while she ordered her tea. Then leaned over to look at the juice/sandwich cooler and hem hawed about what she was going to nibble on as to not gain a pound let it foil her attempt to look 25 years younger than she is, which would explain the light blue t-shirt with young girls section at Nordstrom’s.

After two minutes she asked her husband to come get what he wanted. He grabs a sandwich and places it on the counter and walks away. She continues to debate over the yogurt or the scone. She somewhat reluctantly settles on a scone and the cashier goes to ring her up. “Dave. Dave! Do you have any money?” Husband saunters over reading the paper and slowly digs for his wallet. He then spends more time digging for cash than you have spent reading this post. He produces 3 dollars and seems confused and searches for more. All this time the line is increasing by a ratio of 1 person per 30 seconds. He finally realizes that his wallet isn’t going to magically make cash appear and starts pulling out the plastic. Even the simple process of pulling out the credit card took a minute and a half while he debated which one to use pulling out and reinserting 8+ different cards before his made his final decision. Then his wife decides she needs to get two different brands of juice.

I don’t understand how anyone, let alone a pair of people not realizing that they are holding up 15 people who are probably on their way to work. When the 7th person in line starts to sigh and cough it might be a warning sign that you’re an idiot. When the person making the drinks has already taken orders and made drinks for 12 of the people waiting behind you and you’re still digging for invisible cash: you’re an f-ing asshole.

God damn it, I want to be that rich someday. Dare to dream, dare to dream….