Beep Blarp Blarp

Dear Fuckface,

If you haven’t noticed that the cubicle walls that separate the desks in this office, like any office, are mainly there to mark off your territory. The by no means actually separate you from the rest of us. Cubicle walls are a fictitious barrier provided to the worker to keep us from having to look others in the eye too often and to give us the illusion of personal space. They do however provide us with the luxury of hearing everything our neighbor’s do. Right down to the light clicks of the keyboard and the shuffling of paper.
Subsequently, when you are playing with your new fancy cell phone it isn’t as though you are really in your own little world. I get sort of, well pissed off when I hear every beep of the keys as you navigate through what seems like never ending menu options. I would also rather not be subject to hearing every ringtone on your phone 5 times. Did you ever stop to think that I might not want to be a witness as you construct your personal identity that you present to the outside world with your ringtone? That I might not want to be caught up in your careful selection of which zany sound or clip of the new Black Eyed Peas song really communicates to the world what type of person you are or what you want to be perceived as? It doesn’t really matter which one you choose. Because no matter which one becomes your new theme song, it will still be the theme song of an annoying shit-bag. Play with your new crap somewhere else, I’m trying to look busy.

L.