Goose nabs Turd: a wedding story

The Wedding went off without a hitch. I thought it looked great, sounded great and the guests (including myself) had a blast.

The only thing I would have changed, besides my shoes, was that the reception would have been longer because we were all having so much freaking fun. As for the shoes, for those of you that didn’t hear me bitching about them, the damn things were hurting my feet so bad that I considered stealing Hip E’s gay buckle shoes from Johnny D.

Hip E didn’t loose the rings and gave a great speech though I was blamed somewhat directly for Bain’s borderline psychosis in the process. Murphy did equally as well but should have included me because I am narcissist.

All the bridesmaids looked stunning as did the bride. Goose – good thing you don’t make friends with ugly people.

Bennett and I were amazed that Turd’s left leg, while anxiously awaiting his bride, could actually shake so fast that it was messing up our hair. That’s saying something considering we were on the end and how much fucking hair goop Bennett had in.

I would like to take the credit, though again I probably told everyone at the wedding, for the DJ playing “Shout”. I wish there were 30 songs like that to fill up every party.

Mikey H was the man with his pimp swagger while escorting C-Bud down the aisle shutting down Wally’s attempt at a 10.0 with the “politician” walk. (Point, Smile, Wink)

Wally was gay as usual, he wouldn’t talk to the female photographer who he thought was nice, even though she had already seen him in his underwear.

It was nice meeting more of the SF crew – Thrill, Rosie, and RB. I don’t have any dirt on you guys, good job. Except Pete and Johnny D, you know what you did.

Embers was great. And to everyone who thought that “going home to change my shoes” was some bullshit pass out excuse: eat shit. If you were there you know that I was tearing up the dance floor like a coked up werewolf. The next day the Wife and I remarked at how much fun we had. 4 hours later I had a fearful thought: did we have so much fun that we looked like total asses?

I’m still on the fence as to who won the ass out award. From what I saw/heard so far, I think the Aunt L may have won it by default with a paltry performance. She was just drunk off her ass and had no idea she was slurring as if someone had hit her with an elephant tranquilizer. Really not deserving of an award. I’ve done better at Brrrritts holiday parties. I don’t think there were any “stand-out” performances but we will find out Friday at the black cat when all the reports come in.