Why I hate people

Dear neighbor,

I understand that you love your dog; I in fact own one and care about it deeply as well. I don’t mind that your dog feels the need to growl like Cerberus
guarding the gates of Hades whenever I am walking by with my dog. He is only doing what he sees as his role in your “pack” and I commend him for doing it so diligently. I also think it is a pretty cool trick that he fetches the paper in the morning like the dogs in the comic strips.

However, when said dog is on his fetching mission and decides instead to come up and smell my dog and then proceed to attack her without provocation; I have a problem. I am not a cruel and violent person, but when it comes to protecting me and mine I do not hesitate to react. You may have noticed your dog possibly walking with a limp or having a sore spot, which would be where I buried my foot in his side as he was attempting to eat my dogs face. He apparently didn’t take kindly to being kicked and retreated rather quickly back to your property. From the way he was moving I would surmise that no permanent injuries resulted from my actions.

I would appreciate it if you could control your animal and perhaps consider getting your own paper in the future you lazy fuck.

Sincerely,

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