Remember kids: Treat every hunter as if he were loaded.

Well this is going to be my first day of work after having the last 11 off and I am really looking forward to it…

My armed camping trip was fun (also see hunting). The weather was great, 15 degrees cold in the morning, but great. It snowed quite a bit but it would also melt off some so it never got too thick. We didn’t get anything but everyone saw a lot of elk but unfortunately we didn’t have tags for any that we saw. We were limited to spikes only, meaning that they had to have at least one un-branched antler; a rare find indeed.

I did see a lot of beautiful country that can’t be seen from a state maintained view point or pounded out trail. Much can be said for both of those nature experience options. But, nothing beats that feeling of knowing it is going to be pitch black in 15 minutes and your GPS says that you are 1.42 miles from camp through 12 inches of snow, over fallen trees, through brush, over boulders, up and down hills, carrying a gun/gear and you have already done 6 miles of the same shit everyday for the last 5 days. Life is good in the woods though. I woke up to the suns rays as they just started to move across the snow covered meadow. Then I would get some coffee, food and get my self ready for another day of walking my rifle. I love feeling that I am miles from anywhere, all alone, just me and the woods. Then every once and a while I thing a cougar is stalking me so I check behind me (seriously).

I learned a thing or two this year and I might as well include the other words of wisdom I have gathered over the years sitting in a tent with hissing lanterns while in the midst of a bourbon induced stupor:

1. Shitting in the woods is a delicate process if you care at all about personal hygiene. Without getting into the gritty details there are a few things you need to have at your disposal: baby wipes, paper towels (fingers don’t poke through), and a log sans broken limbs to perch on. Figure out the rest.
2. Do not follow human tracks. You might see something you regret (see above).
3. If you decide to follow a blood trail, make sure that you are the one that shot it. Because Elk can travel many, many, many miles, uphill, before you NEVER catch up with them.
4. When the guy planning the hunt says “After you hit the closed road it pitches off pretty steep”, he is likely referring to an 80 degree slope covered with 1.5-3 feet of snow. Repelling harness and tie off recommended.
5. Always bring too much hooch to hunting camp. There might be a nephew who is thirsty.
6. When cooking one must use a minimum of 2 table spoons of oil, per pan, per item. This includes sausage, bacon and toast.
7. If anyone mentions the words “Death March” during the planning of the following days hunt, do not take it lightly. Pack accordingly and make sure to save camp in your GPS.
8. Empty sand prior to arrival because any sign of weakness is exploited.
9. When told to do something -what ever you do, don’t f#ck it up.