The Boof Report

Dear Weird Yoga Instructor Lady at the dog park,

I wanted to write you because your attitude and behavior at the neighborhood dog park has become a concern for many of the other attendees. First of all you must understand that you are at a dog park. This means that dogs are running around off leash and playing with each other. One must take the proper precautions while in the confines of the park to avoid injury. An example of this is when your dog (12 pounds) and my dog (32 pounds) are romping around that occasionally they will bump into you because they are not paying attention. When you allow your dog to run into other people and act like it is no big thing; do not make rude comments about my dog when she bumps into you. In fact your dog, who I like, is the one who is constantly running between your legs and using you as an obstacle course while engaged in play with other dogs. So any and all bumping of your legs is of no fault of mine or my dogs. If you have a problem with the above activity, train your dog not to do it.

Furthermore, just because you spent $1500 on a fancy dog does not mean that anyone respects you or your dog more than their own. Name dropping the AKC doesn’t impress anyone and makes you look like a pompous idiot. I really don’t care if you were surprised that there was no reaction form the ACK when you registered retarded name for your dog.

Lastly, I think you should watch your bitchy mouth when talking about other peoples dogs, especially when they are no more than 5 feet from you. Dog owners are usually protective and take rude comments about their dog personally, you could find yourself socially ostracized. How much do you have to suck to be the person that no one at the dog park wanted to talk to?

Sincerely,

Load


PS My dog can beat up your dog.