Matching dorks and the people that hate them.

So I am drawing a blank for a ‘real’ post that I feel my blog has been lacking this week. I figured I would rant about something in the media perhaps? But as you know everyone has already given their quips about New Orleans. So, instead I give you:

Couples that Dress Alike: a menace to society!

Couples that dress alike are the most annoying people that have ever walked the planet. I get annoyed just looking at them. I could look away but it is like watching someone set something on fire or break stuff or both. For some reason I just can’t look away. (I was trying to avoid the generic ‘car wreck’ example so bear with me.) Now there are exceptions that I will get out of the way first and foremost. It is ok to dress in the same clothes as your partner if:
1. it is part of a costume themed event.
2. you are watching your favorite team.
3. you are playing a team sport.
4. you are competing in an event.
5. you work together and your job requires uniforms.
6. you are attending a black and white affair.
7. you are wearing wetsuits or other sport specific equipment.
8. it is on the same day as any of the above reasons.

Otherwise couples should not match period. It makes you and your partner both look like complete f*ing morons. There is generally one(hopefully two) person(s) in a couple that has the common sense to say “No honey, I refuse to wear a matching red and white striped polo shirt coordinated with white shorts accented with a braided red leather belt, while sporting a fetching red and white visor complemented with stark white keds”.
I think the reason I hate them the most is that they took the time to match making the activity fall further into the realm of dorkdom. What is worst than these matching freaks are the couples that try to match but don’t quite pull it off. The shoes are similar but different brands. The shirts are both red and white stripes but one is a polo and the other a button up. This makes them look even worse than the matching ones.

Now the wife thinks I’m a freak because we will plan to go out to meet friends, I put on light blue jeans and a green shirt. We meet at the door to leave and she is wearing a green shirt and light blue jeans. One of us has to change. Now our shoes are different, our style of shirts and pants are different, but we still need to change. It could be as simple as one of us changing into kaki’s but it needs to be done.

Please if your partner ever tries to convince you that this is an ok activity have them beaten with a bag of over ripe oranges and if the problem persists suggest shock therapy.