Candy lady not amused at Load’s attempt at world domination.

If you have ever worked in a cubicle farm you have undoubtedly had a candy lady somewhere in the office. Not to be sexist but I have never seen a man do this. Anyways, she always has a bowl of candy sitting out seemingly for all to partake. The one at my work has an extensive collection of M & M themed dispensers, jars, etc. Now one would think that this person has some sort of agenda. Maybe she is a lonely divorcee who craves attention and it is the only way anyone will approach her thus granting her the only human interaction she will receive all day. Or that they are a genuinely kind person and just love to share their joy of food with everyone. Not our lady, no. She is nice but one can tell there is something evil lying just beneath the surface.
One day she stopped filling the bowl up. (I know fat boy wants his candy), the dredges would saunter on by to see if there were by chance some Dots or Hershey’s kisses to stuff in their faces. Two days later she puts a jar up that said “Candy Donations”. I found it interesting that she first offers candy with no strings attached and suddenly she is acting like everyone is taking advantage of her. Or like a crack dealer she gets you hooked on that 3pm sugar high and then holds the addiction over your head. What a greedy bitch. So, I decided to put candy in the candy donations jar knowing full well she wanted some scratch. The next day it read “Candy $ Donations”. I chuckled at the thought of her reaction upon seeing my dastardly deed. The following Monday I added some of those gold foil covered chocolate coins to the jar. I filled that sucker to the brim. She took down all the jars for about a year. Now she fills the candy bowl once and a while but hides it when she goes home.

I hope she gets hypoglycemic.

/I'm such a bad ass.