Load's Special Purpose Revealed At Last

Now for all of you that thought my dream of becoming a crash test dummy was "immature", "ill conceived", "moronic" and bat shit crazy I present my Dream Job .

I am currently day dreaming about all the crazy crap I would pull if I had this gig. E-brake turns, double clutching, tire burnouts. All I would have to do is say that I forgot to eat lunch and the hooch made me crazy. I personally do not like driving if I am 3+ drinks drunk (hmm, that needs a better description) . My core argument behind this thinking is because if I am lucid drunk I tend to want to drive fast as shit which isn’t good for anybody and tends to get one noticed. Or if it one of those nights where you stop drinking 1-2 hours before then the booze snooze starts to kick in. So either you get hyper-slightly impaired-speed racer or slightly impaired-light sensitive-tired guy.

I am including a video tape with my resume that will chronicle me drinking a 12 pack and a pint of Jim beam in under an hour. Then I will steal a church bus and try to drive it through an underground mall parking lot at breakneck speeds, all the while trying to slalom the cement pillars. I need two volunteers to tape this event. One guy on the hood and one in the bus with me. You know the number so call or the slots will fill up. And I will buy you lunch, your choice Arby’s or Skippers.