Collective IQ of 12

To my coworker: When I am sitting alone reading the news paper on my scheduled break do not come up and make small talk. Especially when you don’t’ have anything interesting to say and/or it is work related. Because, as I just said, I am on break, from work and from you. More importantly if we are the only two people in our department and we have ample opportunities to communicate about work, my break is not the time I want to be listening to your boring ass. Also, did it look like I was reading that newspaper or just starring at it in some desperate plea for attention? Fucking dipshit.

To the lady that wears ear plugs: Ok you work out on the floor in a warehouse, it’s loud, makes sense to wear hearing protection. But why do you wear them when you go out to your car? Why do you wear them while you eat lunch? Why do you not properly insert them so they are actually protecting your ears? They’re hanging out and make you look like you stuck carrots in your ears.

To the lady that set her lunch on fire: Tin Foil and Microwaves do not mix. When you put a sandwich wrapped in foil in a paper bag and take it to work you shouldn’t place the entire package in the microwave. You couldn’t stop at setting the paper lunch sack on fire could you? Leaving it to smolder and going to the vending machines to buy more food showed just why your job at 45 years old is putting hangers and price stickers on clothes.

To the skanky Russian chicks: Glitter doesn’t make you pretty. Just as sequined pants or tops from Forever 21 make you look tacky and desperate. I do love the huge shinny gold purses, so cliché. I would also like to know why every time I pass one of you after you leave the restroom it smells like the perfume department of a major mall retailer on black Friday? What's the percentage of your perfume budget against your total take home pay? Do you forgo heat and electricity in order to smell like the inside of a perfume bottle?

Die in a Fire.